Life's a drag!

My teenage years, a mixture of highs and lows.

On this particular day a group of us went out to chill and get away from the madness that some of us were going through at home. We got very bored!

I can't remember which of us made the dare but we bought a pack of cigarette's and tried them. We wanted to see who could smoke without choking. "Well, pure joke". I smoked one, it tasted strange. At 15, knew it was wrong but did not give a dam!

A couple of us took a drag nearly choking one to death. She coughed so much we panicked. Slapping her on the back until she was OK. We then made a joke out of it!

She never touch a fag again! The rest of us smoked on a regular basis.
Every time I felt pissed off! The nicotine gave me the release I needed.

Always tried to hide the fact I smoked from my parents. You see we were told only slags smoked. It was just there way of trying to prevent us killing ourselves or increasing our risks of cancer.

Years went by. New friends were not smokers so you can understand why there were at times pissed off with me. Complaining a lot about hair and clothes smelling so bad and passive smoking . It wasn't intentional, I just smoked and while talking smoke just comes out. "What can I say".

Standing in front of me every time I lit up in the club did not make sense, half the people in the club smoked.

Difficulties in my life got worse that just made me smoke more. Over 10 a day, then at weekends even more! It helped me.

At times when I was ill couldn't smoke but when I was feeling better smoke like a dam chimmy.
Sore throat, still be puffing like no tomorrow.

After smoking for 10 years decided to try and kick the habit. My head felt like exploding. I just stopped straight away but I felt so angry, unhappy, aggressive and topping it all put on weight. I just started to smoke again. It was like ....heaven. Although most of the time I felt low.


Failed to kick the habit!